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finding my way home

considering all my recent activities, im starting to think that if i was single, i would definitely go into the whole pole dancer/sugar baby/pay me by hour job. after that whole 5 months in the Land of Apparent Copious Amount of Rude People, my epiphany concluded that if i can have casual sex for fun and just because i can and like it, why cant i do it for money? i really dont see the big deal about it and you get 300 bucks for an hour, the much needed money for my increased fueling obsession for my vices and materialism that doesnt just include clothes, i like new bedsheets and decorating my place too.

i find comfort in a mess of chaos and problems.
i wanna be that skinny bitch whom you wanna help and save from.
oh, that beautiful mangled mess of a girl.

saturday night was good but in a terribly horrible way. 2 and half, i was just reaching my peak, feeling fucking good then we went out on search for his friend who was terribly terribly fucked up cause he was celebrating but it turned out to be really bad due to family issues so while trying to take care of him, i lost all sense and feelings of it which kinda really annoyed me at the end of all that, everyone is ultimately a little boy/girl. when you’re in a shithole or just feeling like you’re at the edge of a mental breakdown or anything in between, all you really need is someone of the opposite sex you really love and/or care about/etc/or your other half to hold you tight and comfort you to no end. in the arms of a loved one, you become just a little girl/boy;

and you’re home.

stimulate my blood flow, please?

Merdeka

drank about half the bottle of vodka. if only i was rich and can afford grey goose.. T_______T
as usual, the house music was crap.
dont reeeeeally remember much of the night; except for the following.

i met this guy i havent seen for ages whom used to take me out clubbing when i first came to melb and also someone who broke my fast. so he grew his hair out; i cant remember how long it was but i remember saying, “omg! you grew your hair out!” him, “yea!” me, “fuck. you look so ugly with it! (he really did)” him, “laughs” yea. i dont think we will be talking much, we dont really even talk much anyways. oh wells.
mr b puked. twice.
i puked only when i got home. once.
the guy who worked that night really pissed me off. he started lecturing me cause i was running barefooted around the ground floor/lobby/outside trying to look for mr b (apparently he told me he was gonna run up the stairs) cause i didnt wanted to trip on heels considering im really clumsy; speaking of which, that reminds me the other day where i slipped on a fucking piece of paper. yes. a fucking piece of paper, wtf!?!? so anyways he started lecturing me and i think i yelled at him saying i was looking for mr b and i couldnt be fucked saying anymore cause priority was looking for mr b. AND he still kept lecturing me when the security glass door was shutting. wtf. “you shouldnt take off your shoes and walk around for sercuity reasons” what security reasons?!!? the floor is carpeted. what can i get?!!? carpet burn!?!?!

blue foxes

it’s amazing how many people just read blogs and never comment and i never knew quite many the people who read mine till the last post. i guess sometimes it’s better to leave it that way where i have not much or no interaction with them rather than leaving me disappointed that we are not on the same intellectual grounds. for the two i didnt give the p/ws to, it’s because one sounded too lovely and nice in contrast to that lascivious photo, second, i just cant stand people with bad English unless you’re a friend that i like and third if you’re a friend i know, it’s just too explicit for you! unless of course i get absolutely drunk/horny/kinky/naughty (haha. which reminds me of my bad bad mos wed night drunkardness) and LE’s comments on the post made me laugh. lol.

i really cant be fucked to write about sat night at bubble but it was fucking awesome. the biatch and her friends, great djs and music, crazy cute petite vietnamese lady, the assassin, junni, gum (motherfucking hell lol), first at bubble and at the toilets, stories etc.

im soooooo fucking screwed. apparently im going to hard kandy this weekend and i’ve to write a political essay due monday and i have 2 consecutive essays due in the next 2 weeks as well before break and no, i havent even started. it’s a history of semester one again. hahaha. anyways, i was just reading up Isabella’s or Izzy, and i realized maybe about half a year ago that one of my exboyf dated her. i dont read much of Sporean bloggers until i moved to Melb, im very selective with my readings. but that’s besides the point what i find humorous was he told me she told him something along the lines of chinese cocks are nothing compared to the whites. i could almost burst out into laughter. besides the fact that not all white dicks are that awesome, it’s so far generally true that sporean guys (according to my experience) are not gods in bed and the exboyf’s dick was.. let’s say not of average; not in a good way which reminds me of Eddy. lol.

anyways, im off to make some chocolate moose for desserts with mr b later and im starting to work on his 21st present! hurray!

//p.s.
for those of you who had the p/ws, i really hope you didnt give it out and let it spread aroun. well even if you did, it’s too late and i cant do anything about it so i have changed the p/w once again. RAHAHAHAHA! im not gonna give the p/w out anymore for now (ask me in a couple of days. or weeks. or months and i think i would prob. give it to you) so it’s useless for you to ask anyone else or me for the p/w and dont think you can cheat me by using a different name or email add, i have your ip address! HA! have a nice day!

making my panties hot; that’s if im wearing any.

just when i thought my sex drive has dwindled into a black hole, it has gladly been revived this afternoon. honestly i thought that my sex drive has died along with the sex destitution during my 5 week stint in Spore (the story with misashi is another thing) much less having my period as soon as i got back AND having my pussy disappoint myself and mr big do not help at all. having languid sex does equalize to having no sex.

but today. wow. the nympho is back for a sequel. i love how he throws me onto the bed, how he holds my wrists above my head, how he makes me scream into the pillows (never really thought i was a screamer until he became a literal beast at doggying) etc. my new found passion is now trying to find different positions of riding except that i’ve the physical capacity of (insert any obese person’s name). today i discovered i particularly like reverse cowgirl except i couldnt really got around to riding per se nevertheless, it’s really so much fun to play with the balls and perineum. yes when it comes to copulation, i enjoy to be thrown onto the bed, be forced down upon & be fucked like a dirty whore.

the night at bubble (vip tickets, baby!). haha. didnt end too well. i ended up regurgitating the wine and champagne i drank after acting like a stupid child; sitting on the floor and refusing to bulge which apparently (according to mr b) led to 6 friggin security coming to bother me. i remember having one security point his friggin annoying little “toy” flashlight at my face (TRYING TO BLIND MY RETINAS THERE?) and someone telling me to stand up. so i did and went to the toilets to puke while mr b thought i ran to the streets and he got into a taxi trying to find me on swanston street. silly billy. i would think mr b would be slightly pissed off at me cause i was pretty shitfaced (though i sobered up when we left) and cause he wanted to stay a little longer but i would hope the after sex made up for that. i hate being stuck in the going-to-be-trashed-but-not-really phase which ended up me being shitfaced, pissed off and pissing everyone off.

pretty much everyone who clubs in Melb smokes, snorts and/or pops. haha. the two guys in front of us during the line were hilarious. his friend being all fucking paranoid about getting caught and wanting to take a walk to calm his friend now where the friend openly took out speed and insist on snorting it at the lineup. the friend was clearly shitfaced from some other drug which he said it’s alcohol. right, we believe your bullshit. i heard you saying you were gonna get a massive amount of pills when you head in. oh, all you lovely druggies.

im still seeking (it’s starting to get a little desperate here) for the bisexual/lesbian for the 3some; this need reminds me of joey (god. there’s like 2 joeys, 3 joels, they are all starting to merge and confuse me!) and all the lesbian actions/thoughts to be foreseen or done but that’s for another day for me to pent down and/or wank to. i’m finally starting to get the rhythm back. it’s nice to get my train of thoughts and strong sexual inclines back

p.s.
does anyone know of any possible (side) effects from swallowing multiple shots of protein (almost) daily?
i think im gonna need to search it up soon meanwhile, advice/responses are greatly appreciated!