Protected: guilt trips to and back from the moon

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now the rain is falling

i FUCKING FUCKING hate her. she is a bitch. i hate her. i hate the agency and i hate agents. it’s all fucking bullshit

we didnt get the approval. and im sooo sooo upset that it’s unbelievable. it made me cry. not to mention, i found this out when i was sending mi off. i was and still am so upset. i was so looking foward to it.

i asked her why we didnt get the approval. she said, oh she doesnt know.. oh maybe cause there are too many people which is complete bullshit. cause at the beginning she said she asked the landlord if it’s ok for 4 people to live in a 3 bedroom and she said the landlord said it was alright.

i hate her. SHE’S A FUCKING BITCH.
and she gave all these pretense shit that we’re going to get it, and i asked her if we got the place and she said yes. and she knows that i have to move out of my place by feb 1st in the morning and she even said if we wanted to move in earlier, we would have to pay rent for the individual days.
i hate her.

fuck.

my perfect plan is to buy a cactus and give it to her and accidentally drop it (oops, im so sorry) and make it fly towards her face so all the pins will jab into her fucking shit face. and when she takes out the pins, bacteria will manifest in her wounds and she will get gangrene and die of tremendous pain and have a FUGLY face while at it.

this is bullshit. why will the landlord reject us when we have signed the contract? why the fuck will the landlord reject us if she has spoken to the landlord about it previously? and why will the landlord reject anyone really?!? dont they all fucking just care about getting the rent paid on time and not destroying the place? why the fuck will she want us to pay rent in advance for the additional days if we’re not going to get it? it’s not like we cant fucking pay for it or get up to any shenanigans.

not to mention, her staff are either fucking morons or she’s an even bigger moron that doesnt know how to enunciate her name. (although one of the receptionists really nice) they can’t even pronounce the name right. it’s like *Jacelyn and everyone calling her Joanna. oh, not to mention, she doesnt understand English for shit and every question we asked her, she repeats what she told us in the first place in her stupid fucking accent, either with a “oh i dont know“, “i’ve to ask the landlord“, “this is the first time im handling this property” it’s no fucking excuse for your stupidity.

why the fuck is everyone being such a bitch.

Piss Happens.

i saw this dog on chapel street today! in fact, many many many dogs. so many that i actually stepped on some fucking dog’s piss. i know. hahahaha. laugh all you want. but i rejoice as i got a dress for 10 friggin bucks! im so glad i didnt buy it like a few months ago at its original price of 69.90.

he is 7 years old and weighs 45kgs, he’s really fucking huge. so big and heavy that he cant walk straight. i met another dog of this guy that made fatties (apparently he was the original creator) that weighs 55kgs = almost as much as me!!!

lonely

im so bummed out right now. it’s unbelievable. it’s so so close to how i felt when i moved from pp. sometimes, just sometimes, it still makes me cry a lot cause it just reminds me of how i had no friends, nothing to look forward for in a day. everything was meaningless. im not embarrassed to cry in front of anyone but i hate it. cause noone will ever just hold me and let me cry. they just gawk awkwardly and not know what to say. it just feels like that right now, heading home and just looking forward to be alone so i can just cry and be so tired from it and fall asleep.

im turning 20 so soon and i realized i’ve done nothing. i’ve made little friends here. i’ve done no shit for uni. im no better than mediocrity.

i feel like i’ve once again, having nothing to look forward for in life anymore.

i hate being alone. it kills me.

fucking shit ass day

FIRST! i tripped and spilled a shit load laundry powder all over my doorstep and i cant clean it cause it’s a carpeted hallway and i dont have a broom, dont think it will work with carpet anyways AND the vacuum cant reach far enough. THEN! i tripped AGAIN in the laundry room spilling powder all over the floor.

THIRD, my training is can canceled meaning im not working this month at all meaning i will have no money meaning i might not be able to pay my fine and get paid and etc. damn pissed off and superduper upset.

FOURTH! im getting sick. and somehow my body decides to fuck up and have some shit side effects from the bcp (birth control pills)

it’s like fucking murphy’s law happening all at once. fucking hell.

now im broke, pissed off and sick. what’s next?!